Seriously, someone get her on the phone.
I don’t think she knows this, and I hate to be the one to break it to her but uh, she’s more of a part of the problem than she is part of the solution.
I think I need to tell her to shut up. Rudely.
I’ve tolerated Elizabeth Hassleback in the same manner with which I tolerate cheerleaders at football games who actually think their incessant and persistant yelling on the sidelines actually has some type of impact on the outcome of the game. You know, the one they show during the Rose Bowl yelling her heart out in the 4th quarter as her team is being beaten, trying to hold back tears as she cheers for her beaten University Of Wherever? I look at those poor cheeleaders as the game is slipping away and they’re clapping and yelling “GO, FIGHT, WIN!” as if it actually has a positive impact on the game.
As if all of the practice, game planning, strategy, weightlifting, scrimmaging, and the like on the part of the football team can only coalesce properly if prompted by some mindless cheers coming from some people on the sideline forming human pyramids and doing basket tosses.
As if they can will the team to victory with a pithy and inspirational cheer.
As if the game might have gone another way if they were just able to get the student section to yell louder.
One of them.
Get Elizabeth on the phone… tell her the game’s just about over and she needs to pack up the megaphone and wait ’til next year.
I was watching her on television as she introduced Sarah Palin at a rally and my initial reaction was to boo the screen. After I realized how utterly annoying and politically inept she was, it dawned on me that the really scary thing about the whole scene wasn’t that a person who placed 4th on Survivor and is regularly referred to as the idiot on a daytime television talk show was rallying a crowd for a political candidate… what was truly scary is that people were listening.
It would be somewhat akin to Tiffany “New York” Pollard taking to the stage and vociferously espousing her support for Barack Obama. I wouldn’t just judge Senator Obama for letting her take the stage, I’d wonder who the dolts were in the crowd who thought it was a good idea.
I mean, c’mon people… Barack Obama has Colin Powell and Warren Buffett (two of the things I said was right with America) on his team.
John McCain and Sarah Palin have Elizabeth Hassleback.
I don’t know about you, but the four star general and the billionaire trump the lady who sits next to the lady sitting next to Barbara Walters twleve times out of nine.
If its this late in the game and Team McCain is hoping that the cheerleader can inspire a victory, then they’ve tossed out the playbook, given up on the offense and defense and might as well hope they can at least make losing look respectable.
Someone get Hassleback on the phone, and tell her I said she needs to shut up.
