I can’t front, I say nigga a lot.
However, its been conspicuously missing from this blog and most of my writing since I’ve taken an interest in the presidential elections. Part of it is because, well, the word really doesn’t have much of an impact in this forum or at least the same impact that it does when used in casual conversation or even when I’m doing my comedy on stage. It packs a punch and punctuates a sentence, thought, or phrase in a way that other words can’t really convey or don’t have the capacity to encompass.
Nigga, please.
Somebody get this nigga.
I wish a nigga would.
Those are epic phrases in brevity that usually sum up a litany of emotions in a clear and concise manner that most can understand. And please believe, there have been plenty of instances throughout this political season where I’ve encountered something and said to myself, “This nigga here…” and proceeded to make a street assertion in my mind or amongst a confederacy of my African American cohorts.
But I don’t know… its just lately I get the old Keith Sweat feeling when I’m about to mutter the word and well, somethin’ somethin’ just ain’t right and I find myself finding a new or different word to cover my initial thought. Perhaps its the reality that we’re moving closer and closer to having a black president. Maybe its the overt and covert racism I’m seeing from some Americans as we move toward what could be an historic event. But really, I just think that I’m now seeing a category of people that I can no longer classify as “niggas” in my own mind.
Now, let me be honest here… I’ve always used the word as a democratizing term of endearment so as to say that as far as any black man in America achieves, we’re all still niggas in common under the flag of the United States. We were brought here in chains, burdened with a name, and cast into the common pit of niggadom and while some of us ascended the ranks, some of us stayed at the bottom, and some of us are just trying to make our way, in some sick manner of personal judgment, we are all niggas. Somewhere between my exposure to Malcolm X, Richard Pryor, and 90’s hip hop, I decided that this was true to me and justified my use of the word with that. Its what made me just like everyone else at the barber shop or on the bus, it was the thing that kept me tied to the guys in the mailroom at the job while I was trying to climb the corporate ladder, it was my line of resistance against fully assimilating into white culture. I could become a lot of things, but I would always be a nigga. I liked that.
But a funny thing happened on the way to making a blog. A nigga stopped being a nigga and transcended African Americaness to become something greater.
A few weeks ago I promised my mother I’d try to cut back on my use of the word, and I have, because she didn’t like it and, I mean, she’s my momma so I gotta listen, right? But I also made a comment to a friend that I could no longer call Barack Obama a nigga in clear conscience. I don’t know how I came to the initial realization, but I think I was shaping my mouth to say something like, “That nigga Obama” and it didn’t come out sounding like I wanted it to, but instead as some type of garbled slur mixed with a sheepish compliment.
I couldn’t do it… I can’t do it. I don’t think I’m crazy or anything, but I just can’t bring myself to call Barack Obama a nigga anymore. Not because I’ve lionized him or feel as though he has some mythical power over my vocal cords. He’s transcended niggadom and moved into a different real of reference.
Its simple really… The guys in the mail room, the guys at the gym, the guys I went to school with, those guys can be my niggas because we’re all fighting the same struggle. But Obama, if he wins on November 4th, will have essentially beaten the game. You can’t be a nigga if you no longer have to play the game. You can’t be a nigga when you beat the system and get to the top of it all, you can’t be a nigga and be president. By virtue of your very nigganess, you’d be disqualified.
So there you have it. When you get elected leader of the free world and take a seat at the resolute desk, you’ve removed the shroud of nigga because you’re so much more than that. Niggas will still be around on November 5th, but our ranks will be one man short and we’ll be no worse the wear for having lost him to his new role as president.
Even if he doesn’t win, I don’t think I can call Obama a nigga again because he’s outgrown the category. I just hope he’s not the last one to do it.
