Sometimes The Kool-Aid Just Isn’t Strong Enough…

Over the past few weeks we’ve been flogged into believing that somehow, being the mayor of a small town and the governor of the third least populous state in the union was actually a respectable resume and counted as legitimate experience to ascend to the presidency.

I didn’t drink the Kool-Aid on that one… but plenty of folks did.

In all this talk about “executive experience” and “qualification” no one brought up the most important word in the ether of the discussion… ABILITY.

Let’s put it in perspective one more time… experience and ability are two vastly different arguments to make in regards to the top two most powerful offices in the land.  Now, I’ve been playing Madden for years, so I have lots of experience calling plays and following the flow of a football game, however, I’m am woefully ill-prepared and pretty much unable to be the offensive coordinator for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  My experience doesn’t add up to my lack of ability.

Apparently, Joe Lieberman needs another dose of the Kool-Aid because he’s starting to slip up in public

A compotent person can only defend an idiot for but so long.

Corey’s Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game!

In anticipation of tonight’s much balleyhooed Vice Presidential debate, I’ve decided to help spice things up for you and yours by introducing a bit of revelry to your celebration of our democracy at work.  So, I came up with a drinking game for just this occasion to liven things up and make practicing your right to civic information as exciting as possible.  A couple of things before we get to the rules…

1.) I don’t condone drinking and driving, so make sure you’re playing this game in the safety and comfort of your own home or you’ve designated a driver to ferry you home afterward.  I’d hate for your candidate to lose a potential vote to irresponsibility.

2.) Please use a standard American 1oz shot glass.  Don’t try to cowboy up and use generic measurements like just pouring a three count pour into a cup.  If there’s anything we’ve learned from the Bush Administration, its that using fuzzy math and iffy judgment isn’t the best way to solve problems.

3.) If you’re over the age of 25, please avoid using Tequilla as your drink of choice.  You probably have to go to work tomorrow and function and the go hard juice of yore should be limited to weekends only.

4.) Please do not participate in this game if you’re under 21, pregnant, nursing, or a mean drunk.  We don’t want you getting arrested, causing Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, getting your baby slizzard, or getting stole on by an angry McCain supporter.

The Rules:

-Find a bottle of your preferred liquor

-Find a television with ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, or Fox News and turn it to that channel at 9pm EDT, 8pm CDT, 7pm MDT, or 6pm PDT

-Select a candidate (you don’t want to do both, trust me) and when they speak, listen intently (extra points if you perfect the Joe Biden comb-over or the Sarah Palin beehive)

-Have a seat

The following words or phrases from Joe Biden are worth ONE SHOT:

-Literally

-I know

-Experience

-Kitchen Table

-Scranton

The following words or phrases from Sarah Palin are worth ONE SHOT:

-Wasilla

-Thanks but no thanks

-Reform

-Maverick

-Shake things up

The follwing words or phrases from Joe Biden are worth TWO SHOTS:

-My friend John McCain

-Amtrak

-My wife, Jill

-Any mispronunciation of Barack Obama’s name

-Any slight or slur against an ethnic group

The follwing words and phrases from Sarah Palin are worth TWO SHOTS:

-Hockey Mom

-Joe Six-Pack

-Snowmobile Racing

-Any reference to a Supreme Court case that isn’t Roe v. Wade

-Anytime she says, “Well ya’know Gwen” before not answering a question

The following words or phrase from EITHER CANDIDATE is an all drink for ONE SHOT:

-Middle Class

-Tax Cut

-Bailout Bill (which is also my new DJ name)

-Special Needs Children

-Main Street

Now, for the capper…

ONE UNMEASURED GUZZLE STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE:

-If Joe Biden cries

-If Sarah Palin talks about humans and dinosaurs coexisting on Earth

Here’s hoping you and yours have an enjoyable and informative debate viewing and a festive round of imbibition watching representative democracy at work.  George Washington would be proud… not just because he was our first president, but also because he was a whiskey distiller (he was!).